You’re All You’ve Got; 2 0 1 7

Wow, can’t believe 2017 is almost over, felt like it was yesterday. The new year is always an excuse for people to upload funny memes, resolution posts, and complain about how 2017 was the worst year of their lives. However, this day can be used as an opportunity to look back and reflect on everything you’ve been through and everything you would like to change.

For me, 2017 was one of the most peaceful and stable years in my life. It’s the year that I’ve decided that I’m all that I have and I’ll continue to choose my happiness over everything and everyone.

Here are some of the things that I learned throughout this year and things I hope to change:

  1. Ever since the beginning of 2017, I decided to say NO to the things that I don’t want to do and to stop faking it! What’s the point of doing something you don’t truly believe in? What’s the point of pleasing someone while annoying yourself? So, if you haven’t learned to say no yet, please do yourself a favor and start doing so!
  2. Every day, I still try to believe in myself and the things that I can accomplish. Although no one can be productive or motivated 24/7, taking one step at a time is always better than standing still. No matter how many people try to make you believe otherwise and belittle your baby steps, remember that their opinions reflect on them and not on you. This is why I started this blog. With small baby steps, and with every post,  I believe I could influence someone to do something they’ve always wanted to do.
  3. As cliche and redundant as this phrase might sound, “keep your circle small and stay out of toxic relationships”, it has changed my life to the better. It’s ALWAYS about quality and not quantity. Having a few people that support, love, and care about you is sooo rare but it’s all you may need. What’s better than detoxifying your life from all the negative people who smile in your face but secretly wish they had your life? NOTHING. This was one of the things that I’ve done a few years back and has made me value the people in my small circle. So, if you decide to do that, look closely and pick wisely. Look at your friendships and your relationship and decide if you would want them in 2018. If not, don’t feel guilty about ending it & refer to number 1.
  4. I think at this point of my life, I’m in full control of my thoughts and emotions. Being self-aware of your actions and the words you speak is a skill that I’ve mastered. Every word you say and action you do counts. And before you judge someone, always put yourself in their shoes and think of what they might be going through. I also learned that stressing about the small things is pointless and at the end everything will be okay and you will make it through. So have hope and know that putting your mind to something and working towards it, will get you what you want.
  5. Be independent and make your own decisions. Don’t stress over things that are beyond your control. I always follow the “five” rule. If it won’t matter in 5 years, don’t spend more than 5 minutes worrying about it.
  6. Do not listen to what people have to say about you. The people who are close to you already know who you really are and for the people who don’t know you, their opinions are irrelevant.
  7. I learned that getting close to God is the best investment and the most guaranteed one. It’s the only one that will last and add value to your life. So pray when you’re in need and pray when you have it all…

I hope 2018 brings you and your loved ones peace and comfort. Do good and be good, and always try to be the best version of yourself!

Relationships

Since I was in school, dating was the trend and the topic of all gatherings. It was always cool to be involved with someone, and I was. But was it always healthy?

I’ve always been around my older sister and her friends when they talked about their problems in their relationships. I was always interested to listen to them and their thoughts. As I grew older, my opinion mattered (the harsh truth) and they asked for it whenever I was around.

I’m also very close to my mother and my relationship advice always comes from her. She always told me that dating teaches you compromise and selflessness. It teaches you the talent of understanding someone else’s point of view.

You’re not always right and he’s not always wrong.

If there’s something that I learned, is to never ever compare your relationship to anyone’s. No one is perfect and everyone has their problems no matter how perfect their relationship might seem. One of many problems in relationships is trying to make your partner change (even though no one changes, EVER). He’ll never change and you won’t either. So it’s either you start accepting each other’s flaws and stop putting your hopes up by trying to change them or just END it.

I’ve dated at a young age, and I’ve dated when I was mature enough to be in a relationship. And yes, age does matter so when your parents tell you that it’s too early, it IS too early. However, I’ve never regretted being in any of my relationships because I think it’s just a continuation of events. Everything that I learned in my first relationship has helped me in the next ones, so it’s never really a wasted experience. Many people who are currently dating told me that they wish they never dated before their current girlfriends/boyfriends. I think that’s completely wrong. I’m not saying that a person should date many times for it to be “right”, I just think that marriage shouldn’t be the first dating experience because it takes soooo long for two people to get along and know their differences. And what happens if it’s too late?

It’s well-known that there’s a “honeymoon” period or the “inside the bubble” period of 6 months where you think you’ve found your soulmate and everything is just TOO GOOD to be true. Gradually, you start stepping out of this bubble into reality and start facing the true flaws of your relationship. Then, you have two options, whether to give up or for BOTH of you to acknowledge the problems and work on them. Finally, the routine. Every relationship naturally passes through the “routine” phase where couples usually stop putting half the effort they used to put or they just take each other for granted because they’re not pressured by the need to impress each other. This phase is the make it or break it phase of the relationship. You need to start seeing each other more and doing different things to break the routine.

It’s important to know that every phase in the relationship has its advantages and differences. Love comes and transitions into different forms like stability, growth, and responsibility. If you’re seeking to be in the “in love” state constantly, (overflow of emotions and getting butterflies 24/7), then your relationship will not last. You need to ask yourself if you believe that there’s enough potential to overcome the challenges that you will both face.

The hardest part about dating is the risk of losing the person if it didn’t work out. Believe me though, it’s not the end of the world. Having your heart broken isn’t the worst part, you’ll love and be loved again and again. Learn to let go and move on because the best part about relationships is that you end up knowing yourself and that’s the beauty of it.