Since I was in school, dating was the trend and the topic of all gatherings. It was always cool to be involved with someone, and I was. But was it always healthy?
I’ve always been around my older sister and her friends when they talked about their problems in their relationships. I was always interested to listen to them and their thoughts. As I grew older, my opinion mattered (the harsh truth) and they asked for it whenever I was around.
I’m also very close to my mother and my relationship advice always comes from her. She always told me that dating teaches you compromise and selflessness. It teaches you the talent of understanding someone else’s point of view.
You’re not always right and he’s not always wrong.
If there’s something that I learned, is to never ever compare your relationship to anyone’s. No one is perfect and everyone has their problems no matter how perfect their relationship might seem. One of many problems in relationships is trying to make your partner change (even though no one changes, EVER). He’ll never change and you won’t either. So it’s either you start accepting each other’s flaws and stop putting your hopes up by trying to change them or just END it.
I’ve dated at a young age, and I’ve dated when I was mature enough to be in a relationship. And yes, age does matter so when your parents tell you that it’s too early, it IS too early. However, I’ve never regretted being in any of my relationships because I think it’s just a continuation of events. Everything that I learned in my first relationship has helped me in the next ones, so it’s never really a wasted experience. Many people who are currently dating told me that they wish they never dated before their current girlfriends/boyfriends. I think that’s completely wrong. I’m not saying that a person should date many times for it to be “right”, I just think that marriage shouldn’t be the first dating experience because it takes soooo long for two people to get along and know their differences. And what happens if it’s too late?
It’s well-known that there’s a “honeymoon” period or the “inside the bubble” period of 6 months where you think you’ve found your soulmate and everything is just TOO GOOD to be true. Gradually, you start stepping out of this bubble into reality and start facing the true flaws of your relationship. Then, you have two options, whether to give up or for BOTH of you to acknowledge the problems and work on them. Finally, the routine. Every relationship naturally passes through the “routine” phase where couples usually stop putting half the effort they used to put or they just take each other for granted because they’re not pressured by the need to impress each other. This phase is the make it or break it phase of the relationship. You need to start seeing each other more and doing different things to break the routine.
It’s important to know that every phase in the relationship has its advantages and differences. Love comes and transitions into different forms like stability, growth, and responsibility. If you’re seeking to be in the “in love” state constantly, (overflow of emotions and getting butterflies 24/7), then your relationship will not last. You need to ask yourself if you believe that there’s enough potential to overcome the challenges that you will both face.
The hardest part about dating is the risk of losing the person if it didn’t work out. Believe me though, it’s not the end of the world. Having your heart broken isn’t the worst part, you’ll love and be loved again and again. Learn to let go and move on because the best part about relationships is that you end up knowing yourself and that’s the beauty of it.